Wellness day for my spirit

hammock

I’ve taken a day off. I can do that, apparently. I was a good girl and didn’t take a sick day last semester, which has earned me a “wellness day.” I’ve decided to use it for wellness. I just decided this.

My day began with coffee and the laptop. I still can’t sleep late, so I was up by 6 a.m. and no one else was posting to Facebook yet, so I trekked on over to WordPress and took a look at my neglected Reader. Among other bloggers, I read John Pavlovitz’s blog, Stuff That Needs To Be Said. In this post, he recognizes a descending darkness, a division and anger so many of us are experiencing, bitterness and hatred that are becoming commonplace. He encourages us to not sit back and be silent, but to be bold with truth, be bold with love, to love loud.

I can extrapolate and apply his thinking to my own little world. It’s this time of year, I often get frustrated. Springtime is popping up; the weather has been wonderful here in southwest Oklahoma compared to Februarys of the past. The crocus are blooming. I’ve been to a couple baseball games, and we’re winding the school year down to the final quarter. These things should make me happy, but they never fail to make me feel inadequate.

As I sat at the ballpark in a hoodie earlier in the week, I watched the pitcher strikeout another opponent, but my mind was wondering if we’ll have enough staffers to cover all the spring sports adequately, if my sports section even fully realize spring sports are moments from being in full swing because they are still trying to complete writing and design work for winter sports. This leads me to the fact that we are still short several spreads for the last deadline with another deadline around the corner, and no way I can see of getting another 50 pages finished in that timeframe. After I beat myself up about not being able to manage those tasks well enough, I shift over to newspaper and realize late night and the March issue deadline is just days away with not enough work completed as well. *beats self up some more.

When I woke at 5:30 a.m. on this day I took off so I could spend it any way I wanted, my mind immediately shifted into gear and started pointing fingers at all my other shortcomings as a teacher and adviser. Putting it in text makes me feel worse, so I won’t do that. I’m betting we all do this, so I feel nods of agreement even if I don’t go into detail.

However, Pavlovitz’s post has me wanting to squash the darkness, the negativity, even what I’ve self-generated, and love loud. I will fake positivity until the positivity is real.

What do you do when you need to lift yourself and others out of the negativity?

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About teachjournalism
I am a high school teacher of journalism, technology and reading. I advise the school's newspaper and yearbook, both student-led publications. Documenting and sharing my experiences is a way of reflecting to improve my own work and and inviting commentary so that we might all benefit. I believe, as I tell my students each year, that we all learn from each other.

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